“Stop playing around,” she said with a look that could turn even the Greek hero, Hercules, to stone. “Be serious! Stop wasting time.”
We know that children learn by playing, but at some point we expect them to put away their toys and become adults. What does it mean to grow up? It often means to stop playing games and to start being productive at work. At younger and younger ages in schools, play time is on the decline. Recess time is shrinking. Instead, we have more school, more homework, and more examinations. As playtime decreases in childhood, mental illness is on the rise. More and more children are suffering from severe anxiety and depression.
“The opposite of play is not work – the opposite of play is depression,” says Dr. Stuart Brown. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” says common wisdom.
Perhaps play would be more respected if we called it something like “self-motivated practice of life skills, “ but that would remove the lightheartedness from it and thereby reduce its effectiveness. So we are stuck with the paradox. We must accept play’s triviality in order to realize its profundity.
~ Peter Gray, Free to Learn
According to the dictionary, play is simply a pleasurable undertaking for no apparent purpose.
What important skills do children learn from play?
Play provides a safe place to practice the skills that we need in life.
Play is where children learn that they are in control of their lives.
In a world of adult supervision, play is perhaps the only place where children really are in control. Play is self-controlled and self-directed. Children learn to experience this feeling of control. This helps them cope later with the anxiety of feeling that the world is out of their control when they must leave the security of home.
Play is where children learn to solve their own problems with creativity and innovation.
They learn that the world is not so scary.
Play is where children learn to experience joy.
They learn the world is not so depressing.
Play is where children learn to get along with peers.
They learn to practice empathy (see life from another’s perspective) and get over narcissism (developmental stage of self-absorption). They learn necessary social and emotional skills.
Play is where children learn to take risks.
They learn to get up from failure with the opportunity to try again and again. (This is very different from the perfection expected in school to get good grades.)
“A game is the voluntary attempt to overcome an unnecessary challenge.”
~ Bernard Suits
Play-deprived animals in research studies …
- Fear going outside.
- Freeze in fear when faced with others.
- Do not work well with new situations.
What important skills can adults learn from play?
When we rediscover the attitude of play, we can access more creativity and more joy.
We can combat the anxiety of feeling that life is out of control.
We can combat depression by experiencing the pleasure of doing something for fun.
Community and relationships are strengthened by learning to play together.
As adults, we can reclaim the benefits of a playful attitude and strengthen life skills needed for resilience.
