“Do you talk to someone?”
Sometimes a question stops you in your tracks.
The Lifestyle Medicine retreat hired me to see all the attendees on medications for blood pressure or diabetes. In this retreat they would learn about healthy lifestyle changes. They would experience a healthy diet with food cooked for them, a morning exercise regimen, practice relaxing stress management techniques, and learn motivation tools. When all the pressures of home life are removed and you dramatically change your life in one week to low salt, low sugar, and a plant-based diet, there can also be dramatic changes to blood pressure and diabetes.
As “the doc” at the retreat, I see attendees in the office for several visits to make sure that they are not over-medicated. The goal of the retreat is that “lifestyle medicine” will replace the blood pressure and diabetes medications. I check blood pressures, monitor blood sugars, and adjust medications accordingly. For those on the Standard American Diet (SAD) of fast foods that are high in fat, sugar, and salt, the changes can be dramatic. For others that have not had regular medical care, they need more medication and encouragement to see their doctor regularly at home. I do a lot of talking and counseling between the other lectures and activities coordinated by the program.
One of the participants comes for his second visit. I check his blood pressure. It is higher. He has just received bad news about a close family member facing a diagnosis of cancer. We talk about the stresses in his life: recent family deaths, working through grief, his own health problems, and the difficulty of living alone so far away from family. We talk about the support systems: local friends, his workplace, and the one cousin that lives close by. We talk about his plans to support his family and maybe plan a visit. We talk about his motivation to continue the lifestyle changes and improve his health. I recheck his blood pressure. I increase his medications, but I encourage him to continue the program and work on stress management.
I can see that as we talk he begins to relax, his problems do not seem so impossible, and then he suddenly pauses. He looks up to the right at nothing in particular and seems lost in thought for a moment. I see thoughts shifting inside of him as if his brain is rewiring. When he returns, his face is very serious. There is something different in his eyes.
He suddenly sees me again and shifts into a pensive voice, “Do you talk to someone?”
“I mean…” and he pauses, “you listen to people all day talk about their problems, I was just wondering… who do you talk to?”
The roles have shifted, and he is suddenly doctoring me. I feel his care and compassion. I think of the burnout and compassion fatigue that many of us in the medical profession experience. After a long day of holding other people’s problems, we go home with the stress of private patient information rattling around in our heads. Then, the stresses of home life kick in.
On this retreat, I also get to leave the regular stresses of my life at home. I also feel calmer and more relaxed. I am grateful to be seen as more than cog in the medical system, a replaceable part, an unfeeling robot that follows the recipes in the cookbook of medical care.
As I look back at him, I realize that he is seeing me as a person. I feel his concern and compassion.
Suddenly, I am the one with the brain that is rewiring. The questions rattles around in my head:
“Do you talk to someone?”