A friend and poet, Daniel Cryns, shares these words, “If only to receive…”
(Poem is posted below with permission.)
“If Only to Receive…” by Daniel Cryns
the song of today
in reverence, delight…
No need to own it,
no need to share it.
To fully take in that
which will never be
repeated, that which passes
away as it continues
on its journey.
The birds, the breeze,
the bees and trees,
the insect’s talk, the planes,
the cars, the murmur
of strangers as they pass,
the cry of a child,
the rasp of your breath…
Believe in these, believe
in these, enjoy, in joy.
the light all around,
the greens and the browns,
the flit of wings.
No need to own it,
no need to share it.
To fully take in that
which can never be repeated,
that which continues
without purpose
on its journey.
The flash of sun on water,
the shadows cast
by leaves on trees,
the brilliant colors that
abound the dance
your eyes perceive.
The sun resolves the day
to night and still
the light prevails.
Become the world.
—© Daniel Cryns 5/1/13
Opening to Receive
At six years old, whenever someone complimented him, Billy would look down at his feet, get really uncomfortable, and start to squirm. More than thirty years later, he remembered one of the gifts that his father gave him. With a kind voice, his father said, “You should learn to accept a compliment. You should say, ‘Thank you.'” Billy did his best to look up and say, “Thank you.” It took practice, but over time he learned to take in a compliment. His parents taught him to take pride in his talents, not false pride, not I’m-better-than-you pride, but true-honest-to-goodness BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE.
How many of us have learned to accept a compliment? To really soak it in, down to our bones. To receive deeply someone reflecting back to us honestly. “You did a good job.” “I’m proud of you.” “That was amazing.”
(I’m still working on it.)
Community or Authenticity?
I am reminded of all the little ways that I was socialized to fit in, to be like everyone else, to not make waves. And so my own uniqueness gets buried. My voice gets shy. My clothes look like yours. These are the little moments that shut us down. Truthfully, the skill of learning to fit in is just as important as learning to be yourself. The problem comes from the fact that sometimes they are mutually exclusive. Sometimes we have to choose: community or authenticity?
I love to watch babies just soak up the gaze of unconditional love. They just lay there. Peeing and pooping, burping and spitting up, living life out loud. Babies cannot make any other choice except to be themselves.
And then we grow older. We get socialized. Love from the community requires that we behave. Parts of ourselves that stick out sometimes become unlovable.
Growing up is learning to be conscious about our choices. Will we open again to receive love? To receive a compliment? Even when it makes us stick out? Even when it makes us uncomfortable? Even when that part seems unlovable? Can we let people love us? Can we let them reflect back to us who we are? Can we learn to BE PROUD OF WHO WE ARE?
(I’m still working on it.)
Unconditional Love
Being under the gaze of unconditional love is like accepting a compliment. Billy’s story tells me that it is all about practice. When unconditional love looks you in the eyes, do not turn away, look back into those eyes with gratitude, and say, “Thank you!”
(I’m still working on it.)