“I love to watch the unfolding … but I want to know where it is going.”
—recent excerpt from my Journal
This is the paradox of my life, perhaps a better word is dilemma. I love the surprise of the unfolding as I imagine myself floating down the river on a raft in some uncharted land and watching the landscape unfold in front of me. There is the sense of awe, of the hand that touches all things, a sense of beauty.
And then, I get off and swim to shore. I am no longer carried by the river, but trudging through the landscape on my own two feet, exposed to the elements, seeing only what is in front of me. I wonder, what is next? Is it safe here? Now the unknown is dark, threatening, and scary. Wolves in the darkness, bears in caves, bats flying across the night sky. Do they really drink blood, maul people, travel in packs to attack?
I love to watch the unfolding … but I want to know where it is going.
No matter what, the universe always has our back, although I’m not so sure how that works when we purposely put ourselves in harms way.
Yes, we are always supported … but there is that paradox that we don’t always let ourselves feel supported or perhaps sometimes it’s just not as easy to access. Then other times, there is the mind always chattering on about this and that and wanting to know more, wanting to be certain, wanting to know where we are going, and unable to sit with the mystery that we are always supported. Argh! and Amen! in one sentence.