My grandmother passed away over 10 years ago, and I wonder at the memory that is beginning to fade. We have family photos. My uncle has recordings somewhere on an old video camera. I’ve crafted stories about her, and I can see her face every time that I describe her. There is a deep connection that still binds us. Yet, I worry about the way that memory fades. I wonder if the feeling deep inside of me will disappear. Will I someday not remember her voice? Will I forget the special way that she said my name?
At a recent funeral for another family member, the chorus of the hymn began and everyone joined in, except me…
“Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.”
Above all the other voices, I could hear my grandmother. Rich and beautiful, as if she was right there in the room. This was one of her favorite hymns, and she would not pass up a chance to sing. She sang hymns every day, in any moment, all the time. My grandmother’s spirit is alive in that song, it welled up inside of me, and left me silent. If I had tried to sing, the love would have gotten stuck in my throat and poured out through my eyes.
My cousin was at the funeral, and she too had a very close relationship with our grandmother.
“Were you able to sing that hymn? Did you hear her too?” I asked after the service.
I saw a tear in the corner of her eye, and I knew we had felt the same thing.
“I couldn’t sing,” she said, “I heard her too.”
The spirit of our grandmother had come back to give us a gift; she lives inside of us with a rich contralto voice so deeply reverent and full of love. Memories may fade, but love does not.
“How great Thou art!”