This spooky Halloween season, I got a chance to perform at Leu Gardens in Orlando, Florida, with the cast of “Haunting Tales,” formerly called “Ghosts in the Garden.” Last Friday, the morning was beautiful, but the afternoon brought torrential rains. Will people still come? The organizers talked about cancelling the show. Ninety minutes before the performance, the rain slowed and stopped. Ticket holders started coming in with their lawn chairs and picnic baskets of food, beer, and wine. In the middle of downtown Orlando, this 50-acre botanical gardens opens its gates for an evening show every Halloween season. The historic Leu House on the property is covered with spooky decorations, stage and sound system are brought in, and this year 500 ticket holders spread out over the lawn to see the show!
Mitchell O’Rear has produced this Halloween show at Leu Gardens for 29 years! He is a master performer of the scary story, but sometimes adds a little fun. (He will also be performing at the Florida Storytelling Festival in January 2023.) Mitchell opened our “Haunting Tales” event with this children’s song from the early 20th century. The topic is heavy, the images funny, and he adds a different twist to the ending that had people jumping out of their seats. The exact origin of the song is unknown. A version of the song was popular among the British and American soldiers in WWI, and you can find it in many WWI song book collections.
Most people know that the hearse is the large vehicle that carries the coffin to the funeral. Strangely, this song carries the theme of death into a children’s song. After hearing it once, the words got stuck in my head. Be careful! Listen at your own risk.
The Hearse Song
Don’t ever laugh as a hearse goes by
For you may be the next to die
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks
And all goes well for about a week
And then your coffin begins to leak
And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes
A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes
Your stomach turns a slimy green
And pus pours out like whipping cream
You spread it on a slice of bread
And that’s what you eat when you’re dead
And the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in
The worms that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out
Your brain comes tumbling down your snout
And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
They crawl all over your dirty snout
Your chest caves in and your eyes pop out
And your brain turns to sauerkraut
They invite their friends, and their friends too
They all come down to chew on you
And this is what it is to die
I hope you had a nice goodbye
Did you ever think as a hearse goes by
That you may be the next to die?
And your eyes fall out and your teeth decay
And that is the end of a perfect day
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