“We’ve got your son, Voss. Give us one million dollars or he dies.”
What would you do? Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator. Read his new book to find out how he negotiates this threat. His book applies his experience into the business world and the day-to-day negotiations of real life.
“Compromise” is a bad word
For Chris Voss, “NO DEAL” is better than a bad deal.
He tells us that, the worst attitude is one of compromise. Would you want to be found in a compromising position? Are you caught in the limiting belief that compromise is always good?
Avoid these common attitudes:
- Let’s compromise.
- Meet in the middle.
- It’s about give and take.
- Split the difference.
Instead he emphasizes that you should negotiate to WIN. Learn to think creatively to get what you want. Discover high value trades. What does your counterpart have that is worth a lot to you, but easy for him to provide? Discover tools and techniques of negotiation that are perhaps counter-intuitive.
Tactical Empathy
While the business world academics studied the logic and rational win-win solutions of negotiation, the FBI negotiators discovered that we often make decisions based on emotions. You can still find useful information in academic books like, “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In” by Roger Fisher and William Ury from the Harvard Negotiation Project.
However, the FBI discovered that real-world decisions are emotional and not just logical. If you want to learn to negotiate successfully, you have to learn to use the language of emotions.
Here are some tools from “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss.
- Listening! This is how you gain access to what the other person is thinking.
- Tactical Empathy. Understand the emotions of another person and use that information in negotiation.
- “No” is the beginning of a negotiation. Avoid the traditional “yes” traps of salespeople. Get the other person to say “no” and open the negotiation from a place where the other person feels empowered rather than trapped. Then, they will be willing to help you meet your goal.
- “How am I supposed to do that?” is the subtlest way to say “no” without saying “no.”
Read the book for more insights. “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It” by Chris Voss.
“Negotiation is communication with results.”