Uncle CP is my great uncle, my grandmother’s oldest brother. At 91 years old, his wife developed stomach cancer. A couple weeks ago she went into hospice care. She passed away on Tuesday last week. On Thursday night, Uncle CP went to the hospital with chest pain and shortness of breath. He had been diagnosed with pneumonia a week prior and was on antibiotics. Early the next morning around 2am, he passed on. Perhaps to be with his wife. They had been married for 73 years.
As a medical doctor, I’ve seen the deep connection between people. There are those that seem to hold onto life until someone arrived, and then waited until everyone was out of the room before they pass on to the next realm. Death is a strange transition. There are those like Uncle CP, that seem to pass away from a broken heart.
I have a friend who hates that euphemism “passed”.
“Why don’t you just say ‘died’?” she asks.
I say, “Ok. ‘He died.’ Do you feel better?”
“Yes,” she says, and I wonder if she does.
Perhaps, I feel better with the word “passed on.” It is a word of transition, moving on to the next place. The energy that inhabited this physical form is moving on to some new place, to some new state, to something different. What is death? To say someone has died says nothing about what is to come next. It speaks to the final nature of the process. There is a definite end to something, a closing of a chapter. We honor the grief of the final loss. The end of this life. The thing we call death, dying, and dead. And then there is the part that remains alive, whether that is in the memory of those left behind, the physical mark left on the world, or perhaps the eternal soul and spirit. The energy that animated a loved one, now returns back to the Universe. Life passes on into a new state, the ever present change, a place of hope. And that transition is also captured in the word “death.” The end and the beginning connect in that eternal place.
The generation of my grandparents has ended. I am here because of them, but most are gone now. I have only their memories. Uncle CP has joined his wife. He now joins my grandmother and other brothers and sisters. Gratitude to the generations that have passed on. We are still connected. Prayers and blessings to Uncle CP and Aunt Asow. The double memorial service was yesterday, November 1st, All Saint’s Day. I light a candle to them today, All Soul’s Day. Two souls, one flame.