The Four Agreements – by Don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be Impeccable with your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz sets out agreements that you make with yourself. He offers them as a simple way to change your life for the better. They seem simple, and they are. Yet it takes a book to explain them because our monkey minds and our emotional triggers can make simple things tricky.
“Really,” she said as she thought about the family vacation with her brothers and sisters which left her emotionally exhausted, “You can do that…. You don’t have to take things personally?”
Drama is very addictive. It makes a good story. It offers conflict and tension. Even if it is not ours (such as on television), we can get a high (or a bystander high) from the smoke of the fiery drama. (Yes, sometimes I love a good drama too.)
“You know,” she said with a sort of guilty look, “sometimes I just feel like my life would be boring if I did that…. Sometimes I just need a little drama.”
Getting really grounded and present to see my situation clearly, I often look to the Four Agreements to bring me back to balance within relationships. When the drama is out of control, when I’m feeling trapped, when I need help, I ask myself which agreement am I breaking?
Check out the The Four Agreements, it can change your life if you choose to live by them.